Stop Being a Victim to Yourself

THE CRIMSON CIRCLE MATERIALS

The Wings Series

SHOUD 11 – Featuring ADAMUS SAINT-GERMAIN, channeled by Geoffrey Hoppe

Presented to the Crimson Circle
July 7, 2018

I Am that I Am, Adamus of St. Germain.

Let’s take a good deep breath together as we begin this last Shoud of the Wings Series. Ah! The energy here with all of you is so rich today.

I’m coming in a little bit more St. Germain than normal. You know, Adamus is – as Cauldre explained – Adamus is St. Germain and all of you, Cauldre, Linda, everybody. It was an interesting act of consciousness to create Adamus. It had to be something that wasn’t too much like the old St. Germain. That served a purpose. A lot of good information many, many decades ago. A lot of people still reading it, still following it. But for Shaumbra I had to design something a little different, with a little bit more spice in it, a little bit more, what you call, the pirate energy in it, something a little bit irreverent. Otherwise, you’d have all fallen asleep (some chuckles), and we don’t want that.

You know, how many New Age things have you been to in the past where it was really sleepy? Really sleepy. Matter of fact, they did a lot of inviting you to close your eyes. We don’t do that here. Eyes open. Eyes wide open so you can see exactly where you’re going, so you can be in the experience. Even what you’d consider a bad day, a crappy day, what an experience! And what stories you’re going to have to tell at the Ascended Masters Club.

So Adamus was a carefully crafted act of consciousness, and someday, someday we’ll just blow up Adamus. That’s it. No more Adamus. You won’t need it. The world won’t need it, because they’re going to have you instead of Adamus. But what a great run we’ve been having together. We got a little bit more way to go. What a great run we’ve been having together with this act of consciousness known as Adamus.

As for me, St. Germain, it’s probably been more fun – definitely been more fun – than any other character, including my Shakespearean characters, truly, because this character that all of you are, along with me, is more spur of the moment, is more humorous, is more provocative, more profound. Ah, it’s been amazing. It’s going to be hard at some point to hang up that character that we’re all playing, the Adamus character. But in the meantime, we’ve got some things to do. We’ve got some work to do.

 

The New Series

You know, we’re finishing the Wings Series. Wings, like emerging out of the cocoon, getting ready to go, that butterfly almost in being. We’re going into our next Series next month. Things are going to change; the energy dynamics are going to change for you, for me. I’m call this next series, the – and it took a little time and I actually did have to do some consulting at the Ascended Masters Club. By the way, some of you wonder, “Is there really such a place?” Absolutely. Absolutely, where, oh, over 9,700 of us get together. We’ve all been in human form before. We know what it’s like. We get together to talk, to share, drink a lot without getting a hangover, smoke bad cigars and good cigars. But yes, there is such a place, and it won’t be too long before you’re there as well, before you’re in that Ascended Masters Club.

But planning ahead, looking into what comes next, I came up with a name for the next Series. I talked to some of the Ascended Masters about it and some of them were actually in a little bit of shock, using this terminology for our next Shoud Series saying, “Are you really ready? Are you really ready?” And I said, “Well, certainly, I certainly feel so.”

They said, “But Adamus, it seems like so many Shaumbra want to kind of keep working on working on things.” (a few chuckles) “They want to keep the searching and the seeking.” I said, “Yeah, that’s true, but we’re not going to let them, because there are enough Shaumbra who are already coming into Realization.” Bits and pieces maybe, large realizations one day, next day in the dumps, of course. But there’s enough who are coming into it, and enough Shaumbra who have actually crossed over now into the other side, that there are – and the number, I guess, is not coincidental – as of today, 144 Shaumbra have crossed over and allowed their enlightenment. They didn’t stay in the physical body and they don’t really regret it. I mean, they kind of wish they were here in the physical body, but when you come to that point of Realization, particularly on your deathbed, there’s really no regrets of not having stayed.

But we’ve come to that point. There’s enough mass, enough critical mass in what we’re doing, we are ready. Even my messenger, my channeler, Cauldre, even he questioned me, believe it or not, and said, “Are you really going to use that name? Are we really ready?”

I put it back on him, “Are you ready, sir?” A little bit of a shock. And then you know what, as is typical of so many of you when you get the microphone, I’m asking Cauldre, “Are you ready?” and you know what he did? He said, “I’ll think about it. I’ll think about it.” All I needed was a yes or a no, but “I’ll think about it.” Doesn’t that sound kind of like (someone says “I don’t know”) “I don’t know?” (laughter) Doesn’t that sound like a lot of you? It’s here. It’s ready. So I’m calling the new series the Emergence Series.

You know, you submerged, in a manner of speaking, into life cycles on this planet. You came from the angelic realms, you dove down into this planet, Gaia – well, she’s leaving now anyway, but you dove down here – to take on a physical body, which is highly unnatural. You’ve gotten used to it after God knows how many billions of years; you’ve kind of gotten used to the physical body, but it’s still unnatural. You know its quirks, its idiosyncrasies. You know it gets sick and farts and does stuff like that (some laughter), but it’s still kind of unnatural. It never was meant to be a natural state, and thank goodness you’re shifting out of it now.

But you submerged down here. It’s kind of like you started up here (indicating the top of a circle) and you dove down to the planet and started going through lifetime after lifetime after lifetime for no other reason than experience. No tests. It’s not to try to win favor back from God, because God just doesn’t give a damn. That’s the beauty of God, I found out a long time ago. God doesn’t give a shit about … I say that to kind of shake some of you up, but doesn’t. Doesn’t care. That’s the good news. If you don’t understand it now, you’ll understand later. Just doesn’t care.

But anyway, you come down here and go through all of these lifetimes just for experience. That’s it. Not to get more power, not to be some God in your own right. Nothing of the sort, just experience. And then you kind of come to the bottom and you start working your way up, kind of coming out of that circle of lifetimes. You go through your awakening and all the rest of that, and now – where we are – come full circle and now emerging out of unnatural states, emerging out of the physical body, emerging out of the limitations of the mind, emerging out of old identities, beautiful stories, but emerging through them now.

So, I call our next Series starting next month the Emergence Series, and the question again from the Ascended Masters and from Cauldre, are we really ready? I mean, is this the time for Realization? And the answer is definitely yes. Yes. Why carry this out any longer? Why stretch this out any longer? There are enough of you who are coming into Realization already. There is enough, you could say, antigravity at work right now, enough of you who are, you’re not just on the fence anymore; you’re kind of tipping into Realization, and I may just come along and push you into it if I have to.

Why wait any longer? Why continue to think about it? Why continue to work on things? Some of the issues, some of the things standing in your way, we’re just going to blow up. We’re just going to blow them up. And I have to tell you right now, the biggest thing standing in your way is you (Adamus chuckles), the human self. And we’re going to have fun blowing it up. We’re going to have fun getting it out of the way. They’re like big boulders in the road, kind of keeping the natural flow from happening. We’ll just blow it up. The human will be okay in the process. The human is actually secretly, maybe not so secretly, hoping we’re going to blow it up.

And the human is, in a way, screaming, “Oh! You can’t blow things up. You shouldn’t talk like that, Adamus! Blow things up and peace and love and joy.” Eh, we’re just going to blow it up, and the human is going to be so thankful for this, because the human’s been sitting there watching these boulders in the road for a long time, wondering about the boulders in the road, “Why did the boulders get there? What are the boulders trying to tell me?” (laughter) “Maybe if I call some other people with boulders we can all talk about boulders in the road” (more chuckles) and nothing gets done.

There’s so little left right now, it’s actually kind of scary in a way, but kind of fun in a way. But starting in our next Series we’re just going to do it. New life, emergence, getting past all that junk that’s been hanging around there. It’s time.

I know … feel into the energies here for a moment in the room, online. Just feel into the energies.

(pause)

When I say we’re going to go into the Emergence Series – “Oh, crap! Oh, yes! Oh, crap! Oh, yes! Oh, crap!” (a few chuckles) “Are we really ready? Yes, we are. I don’t think so” (more chuckles). It’s kind of an interesting conflict, if you stand back and feel it for a moment. And then, of course, the human, “What’s going to happen?” and the Master, “Who gives a damn?” (some chuckles) And the I Am saying, “Hey, walk into your creation.” That’s it. That’s it. It doesn’t matter what happens. The emergence is really now about walking into your creation. Not God’s creation. Actually, God really doesn’t create. No, God doesn’t create. That’s false. You’re going to be walking into your conscious creations, so what would there be to worry about? I mean, it’s yours with the wisdom of the Master, the consciousness of the I Am. That’s what we’re doing now, the emergence.

If anything, that you would have to – not worry about – but you’d have to be aware of, anything as we come into Realization, it’s going to set you apart from mass consciousness, other people more than ever. It’s going to make you feel more different than ever before, maybe more difficult to handle some of the things. But that calms down after a bit, and you find that you are so in a place of, oh, Allowing. Cauldre was going to say “peace,” but I don’t want to use that word.

You’re going to be in such a place of Allowing with yourself, with the human, the Master, the I Am, that pretty soon the other people aren’t going to – it’s not going to bother you as much. Some of you have become supersensitive to noises, to other people’s energy, to just being in cities, to the air, to everything around you, to the invisible energies that are everywhere, whether it’s from a mobile phone or a TV station or just noises. You’ve gotten really supersensitive to that, but that settles in, because you come to the profound realization – not just mental but you really realize – “That’s not mine. None of that is mine.” And you can be very accepting and it doesn’t have to torment you. You don’t have to be struggling with those energies and your sensitivity. Suddenly, they just go right through and it’s like, “Oh, I’m aware that they’re there. I’m aware that other people’s energy can be sometimes very terrible. I’m aware, but it is not mine anymore. Not mine.” 

Then you realize after that, you know, once in a while you might miss playing in drama, and drama is kind of fun sometimes, once in a while. You might realize, you say, “I really miss a good drama,” just like, if you’ve really been watching what you’re eating – which you shouldn’t, but if you’ve been watching what you’re eating – and it’s just like, “Oh, just a pizza. It’s been two months. Just a pizza!” (some chuckles) Why is it that – I don’t understand – humans all across the world crave pizzas and French fries? (more chuckles) They love it. But suddenly you realize, “Oh, I can have some pizza. I can go into drama and play in it a little bit,” but as the Master, realizing, “I’m just playing in it simply for amusement and experience, but it’s not mine.”

So, if there’s anything about your emergence, it’s going to be feeling a little bit more distant from other people, from mass consciousness for a while, and that’s good. That’s good. You know, it’s actually been a long, long time of getting there. In other words, you’ve actually spent lifetimes of feeling as an outsider, lifetimes of feeling that even your biological family is really not yours. You know, how many of you wondered if you were adopted? How many wished you had been adopted? (a few chuckles) But it’s been lifetimes of feeling that ‘outsider’ energy, and you know, one of the biggest challenges that Tobias had when he worked with you was getting you to realize to stop trying to fit in. It just does not work. You’re just not going to. But you tried anyway, through a lot of different things. Oh, how many marriages are there out there where you’re trying to fit in and be normal? And it didn’t work, and now I think you can accept that point. You can let it go.

So there’ll be a little bit more of kind of the awkwardness of being around other people, being around mass consciousness energy, but then it truly smooths out – truly smooths out – and we’re not talking 20 years for it to happen. Within a very short period of time it smooths out and there’s such a feeling of acceptance for others, without feeling sorry for them. Such a feeling of humor, without laughing in their faces. Such a feeling of humor. First, even initially, some of you are going to, “Oh, I just want to take this person and shake them and say, ‘Here are the basics – allow and breathe.’ (some laughter) ‘Here’s the basics,’” and then you’re going to smile to yourself and realize it’s not going to do any good. They’re on their journey. When they’re ready, if they’re ever ready, they’ll come to you or somebody like you and, oh, in the worst, most desperate moments, the darkest of the dark, everything in their life is falling apart – you know what that’s like – that’s when they come to you and say, “What is it? What is it? I saw this change in your life, what did you do? Was there a certain holy water you drank?” (Adamus chuckles) “Or was there some type of sacred music?” You know what that’s like.

And then you stop and take a deep breath and realize that it’s really quite simple. You’re going to look back on your own journey and it’s really quite simple. But you made it complex. It’s really quite beautiful, but you were always looking at the underbelly of your Realization or coming to Realization.

And it’s kind of funny because it’s like working with you sometimes, particularly when Tobias worked with you. Oh! It was like arm-wrestling every day. And the abuse both of us have taken, the nasty words we’ve been called and the anger and the intolerance and … but we just took a deep breath and smiled because we knew you were going to get here. It’s a natural journey. We knew you were going to get to this point. I just kept on repeating things over and over. I’ve been repeating stuff that Tobias said for years. And repeating, “And and Allowing. And and Allowing.” Now it’s finally happening. We’re here in Emergence.

It’s going to be interesting. Our gatherings, our Shouds, when we get together like this, they’re going to have to take some twists and turns, because it’s not just going to be working on trying to beat the old issues out of you, but it’s going to be about, well, it’s a new way of living, how you’re doing it, what’s happening. And there’ll still be residue of the past. There’ll still be some times when the seduction, the gravity tries to pull you back into those old ways. You know, we’re not going to fight those. We’re just going to watch them with great wisdom and humor.

Wisdom and humor, I would say that’s kind of where we’re going to in the Emergence Series. That’s a quality that Kuthumi has – wisdom and humor. If you could imagine for a moment your life going forward, wisdom and humor – and energy serving you, but wisdom and humor – what a great way to live. Be wise and funny at the same time. Quite amazing.

So, all of this happening, it’s amazing. It seems so … sometimes some of you think it’s happening so fast. All of this happening as the planet is changing. You know, I talk about some of the planetary changes, others talk a lot more about it than I do, but I talk about the planetary changes on the human consciousness level, on the planet, the green planet level. There are a lot of people that still deny; they’re in denial. Not Shaumbra necessarily, but people in general that are in denial about what’s happening. They don’t want these changes to occur. The changes are all around, they’re happening every day and they’re happening faster and faster. So many people kind of hide in the shells, hide in their homes, in their jobs, in their old ways. They don’t want things to change. They want things to stay like they were – maybe just a little bit more polished, just a little bit nicer, but basically the same – and it’s going to be impossible. There are a lot who will ignore all of the changes in the world that are taking place, changing that are occurring faster than ever, ever, ever before.

You might have a tendency once in a while to not want the changes in the planet, to kind of keep it like it was. It’s not going to be. It’s not going to be bad and it’s not going to be good. It just is. It’s just changing.

The point is you’ve gone through all of these changes. You’ve actually really truly led consciousness in a lot of these changes. Now it’s happening in the world all around, and pretty soon people are really going to have to wake up and realize the world as they knew it, the world as they’ve spent many lifetimes experiencing it, is changing quickly. Not just with Gaia leaving, but with technology. And, more than that, by consciousness in people. That’s really what’s changing things, consciousness in people. What’s really going to change the planet is people like you who are choosing to stay here embodied, realized; not going out and preaching from soapboxes, not going out and trying to convert anyone, not riding around on bicycles, knocking on doors, but just being in their radiance. That’s it, just being in their radiance. That is what is causing more changes.

You know, I talked about it many years ago at what you call the Quantum Leap. I talked about all the changes occurring on the planet in medicine, technology, finance, manufacturing, energy, everything, and it’s all because of consciousness. It wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t for consciousness, not just with you, but with many humans across the planet.

So, let’s take a good deep breath with that.

We’re going into the Emergence Series. I’d like a really nice video opening for that that we can play. The Emergence Series, we’re doing it. We’re doing it.

And it’s taken quite a bit of cleaning house, too. We had to get ourselves focused. Those who were really, really, really going to allow their embodied Realization; had to kind of shoo off the others, because they – well, I’ll be real candid – they were just energy feeders. They were riding on the coattails of the very work, the very dedication you’re doing here. They were trying to feed off the energies, and we had to invite them to leave, and they did. So now the next couple of years you, other Shaumbra, me, we’re going to get very – focused isn’t quite the right word – we’re going to get very into the experience. There’ll be clarity about what we’re doing the next few years. After that, watch out. It’s going to be a whole different ballgame around here. The next couple of years we’re going to have this close, tightknit group with a lot of clarity about what we’re doing and what we’re experiencing. Good.

Good deep breath with that.

 

Shaumbra Wisdom

Now, Linda on the microphone please, because, well, it’s one of my favorite things to do. It’s that time where we do Shaumbra Wisdom. Linda on the microphone, please.

(Shaumbra Wisdom video plays and some chuckles)

Okay. Microphone on?

LINDA: No (more chuckles).

ADAMUS: That’d be so embarrassing to hand somebody the microphone and they’re just about to share their wisdom and … (Adamus silently mouths words) Good. So …

LINDA: Why are you looking at me?

ADAMUS: Because you’re holding the microphone.

LINDA: I, I … that’s the controller.

ADAMUS: Okay. So, question.

LINDA: I’m just in service.

 

~ Question 1

ADAMUS: At the end of our gathering last month, we talked about something. I said, “You know what’s happening. There’s this energy, this dynamic. You know, we’re getting closer and closer to true pure Realization, and what the hell? Why do things kind of keep falling apart? Why does it seem like you take two steps forward and five backwards? What’s that all about?” I said, “Well, you’re testing yourself.”

It’s not Spirit doing it. It’s not anything doing it. You’re testing yourself, and it’s kind of a natural, unnatural phenomena that’s occurred with all of the Ascended Masters. You go through a period of really testing yourself, and you’re not even conscious of it, but you’re testing yourself. You’re so close to this Realization, you can almost taste it. You’ve had glimpses of it. You’ve had an experience or maybe many experiences. You’ve had a lot of “aha” moments and you just know, you just know it’s there. You can almost smell it. You can almost feel it. It’s so real it’s actually coming into your dreams. And what’s happening in your dreams right now is the wisdom of the Master coming in and wisdomizing a lot of things that were kind of held deep within. So it’s going even into the dream state and cleaning up a lot of the garbage. And I know the dreams are rather uncomfortable these days and they seem to go on and on and on because you’ve held on to those issues forever. But testing yourselves. It’s kind of something all of the Ascended Masters have done before their Realization. When they realized Realization is almost here, the realization of Realization causes one to test themselves.

So I said last month, “I’m backing away. I’m taking a hiatus.” Most of the time I’m around all of you – most of the time. We have long chats sometimes, and I know once in a while you curse me out, but that’s okay. That’s what I’m here for. But I left so you would have to deal with yourself and your tests.

So the question – and I’ll have a number of Shaumbra Wisdom questions today – the question is how have you been testing yourself? What have you been doing in your life to test yourself? Linda, please.

LINDA: Eww! Keep your hands off your toes. Eww!! (some chuckles)

ADAMUS: Okay. We need to get some – what do you call it – antiseptic wipes for Linda and the microphone please, yes.

STEPHAN: Too late.

ADAMUS: Please do not pick your toes before being handed the microphone (laughter).

STEPHAN: Now it’s mine.

ADAMUS: (chuckling) Yes.

STEPHAN: How have I …

ADAMUS: How have you been testing yourself?

STEPHAN: I’m not aware that I tested myself the last month.

ADAMUS: Okay. You don’t have to be testing yourself, but let’s just play a game here.

STEPHAN: Sure.

ADAMUS: I call it Act of Consciousness. What if you were testing yourself, what would you be doing? We’re just playing a game.

STEPHAN: Right.

ADAMUS: What would you be doing?

STEPHAN: Well, it’s like, you know, if have something new, a new software or whatever, you want to make sure it works right.

ADAMUS: Sure.

STEPHAN: So you do all kinds of tests to run into uncertainties and stuff.

ADAMUS: Sure, running tests on software. But how about your life? Are you running tests, like software tests on your life?

STEPHAN: Well, in a way, I can imagine, you know, it’s like you want to make – you want to get rid of uncertainties.

ADAMUS: Uh huh. Uh huh. Right, right. So how have you been testing that – yourself?

STEPHAN: (pausing) Well, that’s a good question (they chuckle).

LINDA: Ohh! That’s …

ADAMUS: Hello! Yes, it is a good question.

STEPHAN: It’s a good question.

ADAMUS: It’s, you know, the answer can always be, “I’ve yet to come to the realization of the answer.” (laughter)

STEPHAN: Exactly.

ADAMUS: Meaning, “I don’t know,” but at least you haven’t said those words. So, testing yourself. Just pretend for a moment.

STEPHAN: So if I were to test myself.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. What would that be like?

STEPHAN: How would I do that?

ADAMUS: Yeah. Mm hmm. And you’re doing it right now, by the way.

STEPHAN: Right.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

STEPHAN: I mean, you know, I guess, you know, the thing about what to test?

ADAMUS: Yeah.

STEPHAN: And then realize it’s useless anyway.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah.

STEPHAN: It’s like …

ADAMUS: I’m going to be real blunt, because otherwise this would go on and on, because …

STEPHAN: I know.

ADAMUS: … this is your test for yourself. Lack of clarity, “I’m not sure where I’m going to go to, what I’m going to do. Not going to make any commitments. Not going to – I don’t want to …” Lack of clarity. So, you’re constantly testing yourself by being unclear.

STEPHAN: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: No, just like what you’re doing in the microphone just now. And …

STEPHAN: I’m clear. Yeah (they chuckle).

ADAMUS: Well, you’re clear in being unclear. In other words, it’s a great test for one’s self. And I’m not picking on you, but I am, because if you sit in these chairs, I’m going to pick. No, and it’s nothing to feel guilty about. It’s like, you know, the test is staying unclear.

STEPHAN: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Yeah. “Can I continue to stay unclear?” And then you wake up some days and go, “I just wished I’d have the answers. I wish it would come. I wish the knowingness was going to be there. I wish I really had the vision of all these things. Ehh, I’m going to go back to being unclear.” That’s kind of the test. It’s kind of almost a reverse test.

STEPHAN: Right. I mean, those situations happen and then suddenly the clarity is there. It’s kind of, you know, it goes a few days …

ADAMUS: Then why do you go back into unclarity?

STEPHAN: Unclarity.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Why do you go back there? You don’t have to.

STEPHAN: Well, it’s just, you know, it’s just part of being human I guess.

ADAMUS: No, it’s not.

LINDA: Hmmm.

ADAMUS: No, it’s not. Mnh-mnh. No. It’s part of maybe your human experience.

STEPHAN: Right.

ADAMUS: But there’s nothing in the book. I’ve looked in the book of being a human. It doesn’t say you have to be unclear.

STEPHAN: But from the past, you know, there’s those leftovers.

ADAMUS: So, it’s a great test for one’s self to go back to unclarity.

STEPHAN: Right.

ADAMUS: And to see if you can clear up the unclarity and become clear.

STEPHAN: And being proud.

ADAMUS: Yeah. And this is not a criticism, it’s an observation, and a lot of you do that. Like, “I’ll just be unclear for a while.” It’s a weird kind of test. You want to be clear?

STEPHAN: Yes.

ADAMUS: Good. That was clear. Good. Good. So stop testing yourself with lack of clarity.

STEPHAN: Okay.

ADAMUS: Yep. That’s it.

STEPHAN: Easy.

ADAMUS: “Easy” they say (they chuckle).

STEPHAN: Thank you.

ADAMUS: Thank you. How do you test yourself? How have you been testing yourself? (laughter as Linda wipes off the microphone)

STEPHAN: I washed my feet. They’re clean! My feet are clean!

ADAMUS: Or picking the nose! (more laughter)

LINDA: Bpptt! (pretending to bop Alice on the head)

ADAMUS: Linda, you … (Linda gasps as Alice does something suggestive with the microphone) Linda, you may want to bring those gloves …

LINDA: I’m going to get … yeah, yeah!

ADAMUS: Vinyl gloves with you.

LINDA: I need a vinyl glove.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LINDA: This has gone way too far. (Alice does something else) Oh! (laughter) I’m gonna …

ADAMUS: Hey, we’re all family! (Adamus chuckles)

LINDA: Blaagh!

ADAMUS: We’re all family! So how are you testing Linda? I mean, how are you testing? (more laughter) How do you test yourself?

ALICE: Yeah, I was thinking about that while Stephan was talking. I would have said the same thing to start with, that I don’t think I have been testing myself.

ADAMUS: Really?

ALICE: But wait.

ADAMUS: Yep, yep, yep.

ALICE: Wait. Wait for it. In the last month, probably because of Keahak and what we’ve been doing here, I’ve had a lot of feeling realization.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah.

ALICE: And then there are times when I haven’t felt it, and in those times when I haven’t felt it, I would say, “How come?” So it’s, oh, why can’t I stay in that? And then I get the answer from myself. It’s because it’s still very intense when it happens, for the body, the human body.

ADAMUS: Right.

ALICE: And so if I’m testing myself, it’s almost like testing stepping into Realization and going, “Ooh! Haah! Well, that’s strong. Oof! Come back.”

ADAMUS: Yeah.

ALICE: So for me … I don’t know if that makes sense.

ADAMUS: Sure. It’s almost like putting your toe in the water before you put your whole body in.

ALICE: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: Biggest fear that you have, also many other Shaumbra – biology. “What’s it going to do to my body?”

ALICE: Right. Absolutely.

ADAMUS: You know, you’re good with your mind, your mind balance.

ALICE: Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: But, “What the hell, is it going to kill me?”

ALICE: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: You know, heart attack? Disease? Something like that. You have been in the medical profession and you understand the idiosyncrasies of the body, so it’s actually kind of scary. You would have been better off to unlearn all that medical stuff, you know.

ALICE: Yeah, no kidding (she chuckles).

ADAMUS: But that’s a big – you’re testing yourself, “I’ll give myself a little bit of awareness, then I’m going to back away. Am I still alive?”

ALICE: Yes.

ADAMUS: “Did I get a disease.”

ALICE: Absolutely.

ADAMUS: So, yeah.

ALICE: Absolutely. Spot on.

ADAMUS: But let’s just say … your body takes a lot of the punches for all this, but it’s actually taking more punches every time you stop, start, stop start.

ALICE: Hm.

ADAMUS: What if you just went into it? No more testing. And what if, worst case, your body gives out?

ALICE: Yep. Yeah. I say that to my kids, “What’s the worst thing that can happen? You’ll die. Come back, do it again.”

ADAMUS: No, no. You don’t have to come back.

ALICE: I don’t want to come back (she chuckles). Yeah.

ADAMUS: But this fear of death, it’s huge, and it’s, well, that’s a test in a way too, but that’s another story. But the fear of death, if you go beyond that … die now. Get it over with, we’ve done that in some of our gatherings. Get the death out of the way. In a way, you are going through death anyway.

ALICE: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: I mean, you’re going into it, whether you like it or not. But let’s really start bringing in the new biology. You’ve got such an attunement to the understanding of biology at an energetic level, not just medical. But you would be perfect for how to really understand the dynamics of this, what has been called, the light body coming in. And just do it. Be the example.

ALICE: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

ADAMUS: With your understanding of medicine and of energy, be that example. Bring it in and stop testing.

ALICE: You got it.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Good.

ALICE: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: Thank you. Thank you. Ooh! I look forward to it. Yep. You just needed permission. That’s it. You just needed “It’s okay to do this. Just go for it.” Yeah. A couple more. How have you been testing yourself?

ANDY: Ah, the test, yes.

ADAMUS: The test.

ANDY: Really, I’ve been more just doubting myself. You know, years ago …

ADAMUS: Well, that’s not a test.

ANDY: Yeah, well, years ago I thought, “You know, I’ve got to get rid of all my fears.”

ADAMUS: Right.

ANDY: You know, all along “I fear nothing” and then you come in and press my buttons (Adamus chuckles) and go … I think I’m afraid of myself. I believe I’m afraid of succeeding.

ADAMUS: Right. Why?

ANDY: There seems to …

ADAMUS: So do you do the funny thing where, you know, you have a little success and then – boom! – everything – schwfffft! – goes away?

ANDY: Yeah. I get images of past lives that were not real pleasant or a success.

ADAMUS: Do you have a lot of money in your bank account?

ANDY: Right now I’ve got some, yeah.

ADAMUS: I mean a lot.

ANDY: Ohh, not a lot, no.

ADAMUS: Like, um, six figures?

ANDY: Eh, maybe (laughter).

ADAMUS: Seven was where I was going.

ANDY: Eh, well, yeah, yeah. Probably …

ADAMUS: Okay.

ANDY: … got some money. Yeah.

ADAMUS: But to my point about that.

ANDY: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Is that [you’re] afraid of success, so you let yourself have some …

ANDY: Yes.

ADAMUS: … in, what I would call, relative comfort, but not like a lot. And that applies not just to money. I was just using that as an example but …

ANDY: Yeah, just everything, because …

ADAMUS: … relationships?

ANDY: You become a target when you’re very successful, “Oh! Well, you know, this guy’s got money. Let’s go get money from him. This guy has a great business, maybe I can get a job with him.” It’s like …

ADAMUS: Those are only the ones you hear about.

ANDY: Yeah.

ADAMUS: There are a lot of people out there with a lot of money you don’t hear about, because they’re not … I was going to say “assholes.” (Linda gasps)

ANDY: Say that. That’s okay.

ADAMUS: But I’ll say it. They’re not flashing it around. Do you know, there are a lot of really wealthy people on the planet that are very quiet people. They don’t energetically shoot up a flare to let everybody know. They’re allowing abundance in into their life and they don’t have to make a show out of it. You just hear about the ones that are targeted, because they want to be, otherwise they wouldn’t be putting the red flare and the fireworks out there for everybody to come after them.

ANDY: I like that. Thank you.

ADAMUS: For what?

ANDY: The information there.

ADAMUS: Oh, good, good.

ANDY: It’s a different thought.

ADAMUS: So, you’re testing yourself with, oh, you could say it’s your power, your success, your being a person, and it kind of happens over and over. I see some relationship things along that lines.

ANDY: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Oh, yeah! (Adamus chuckle)

ANDY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ADAMUS: Right. Yeah.

ANDY: Some juicy stuff (some chuckles).

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. So, why, Andy, why do you test yourself like that?

ANDY: (pausing) I believe it may be fear of self.

ADAMUS: Okay.

ANDY: Fear of me succeeding.

ADAMUS: Yeah. But isn’t Realization, isn’t that a form of, I guess you’d say, success? You know, something you’ve been working on for a while? How are you going to get into Realization if you have a fear of yourself succeeding?

ANDY: So, I’d like to get rid of that fear.

ADAMUS: Yeah, okay. Why haven’t you? (a few chuckles)

ANDY: Maybe I need to watch that “Stop it” video again (some laughter).

ADAMUS: That’d be a good one.

ANDY: Yeah, yeah. That was good. I like that.

ADAMUS: But, no, and the answer is real clear: because you still enjoy it. Otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it. This is one of these simple, you know, kind of “humor and wisdom combined together.” If you’re doing something you don’t like, it’s probably because you still like it. You’re still deriving something out of it. You’re still getting something out of it. So, go there – what are you still getting out of it? – and then end it.

ANDY: Yes. Yes. Maybe the comfort of, eh – what’s the old saying? – better the devil you know.

ADAMUS: Right. Right. Yes. And it’s not about money or success or anything, but it’s about Realization and saying if you’re afraid of yourself, if you’re doubting yourself, then you’re going to apply that same thing to Realization.

Stand way back, look at the energy patterns in your life – relationships, money – and you’ve struggled with money in the past and then it kind of came easier. Relationships, money and your body, your biology, which isn’t as much of an issue. But look at that and now you can extrapolate that and say, “That’s actually what I’m going to do in my emergence. I’m going to test it. I’m going to get a little bit of ways there, and then I’m going to beat myself up and I’m going to keep having to work at it.”

ANDY: I don’t like that idea.

ADAMUS: Good.

ANDY: But that’s probably what I’m doing, huh?

ADAMUS: Probably. Maybe. I don’t know. But the point in the last Shoud was it is very common, when you get to this point coming into emergence, into Realization, you keep testing yourself. And that’s what holds so many people back – tests and tests and tests – “Am I worthy? Am I ready?” And there’s also kind of the thing, a lot of people like to think about it, but not actually do it. You know, sometimes the dream is greater than the reality. You know, sometimes people want to keep dreaming about enlightenment and talking about it and going to classes and all the rest of that, rather than just doing it. And that’s what I’m trying to point out here. Yeah.

ANDY: Thank you. Yeah. I think I’ve gotten comfortable in my misery.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Yeah. Good. Until then I point it out and then now it gets really miserable (they chuckle).

ANDY: It gets better now, yeah! Thank you.

ADAMUS: Thank you. We’ll do two more.

LINDA: Okay.

ADAMUS: Two more. How are you testing yourself? Ooh-ooh (Adamus chuckles).

SHAUMBRA 1 (woman): Oh, my god! (a few chuckles)

ADAMUS: The worst possible fear (more chuckles), being handed the microphone at a Shoud.

SHAUMBRA 1: Right!

ADAMUS: Would you mind standing also?

SHAUMBRA 1: Oh, gosh.

ADAMUS: Yeah. I could have you come up on stage, but we’ll keep it at this. How are you testing yourself?

SHAUMBRA 1: Hmm. I don’t know, Kelly, how am I testing myself? (she chuckles) I don’t know, it’s just … (Linda gasps and audience says “Ohhh!”)

LINDA: Oooh! That’s the bathroom answer. (someone shouts “Oh, no!”) Ohhh!

ADAMUS: You can use this opportunity to go to the toilet.

SHAUMBRA 1: Aye, yi, yi, yi. Okay.

EDITH: Very bad.

LINDA: Give her another chance.

ADAMUS: Hand it to anybody you don’t like. Hand it to anybody (Adamus chuckles).

LINDA: Right in front. Right in front (someone says “Just wash your hands”).

SHAUMBRA 1: I don’t know her.

ALAYA: Me?

SHAUMBRA 1: Yeah (more chuckles). Oh, my god. I know better, too (some chuckles).

ADAMUS: Two minutes is fine. Would somebody pull – and it has to be the boy’s bathroom (much laughter).

LINDA: Ohhh! You can’t make her go to the boy’s bathroom!

ADAMUS: Two minutes is fine, if somebody would come and pull her out after two minutes. So, good. Now you’ve got the mike. So, testing. How have you been testing yourself?

ALAYA: I test myself with money.

ADAMUS: With money.

ALAYA: Like, “Well, can I afford it? Or can’t I afford it?”

ADAMUS: Oh!

ALAYA: “Should I pay for it?” I play with that one a little bit.

ADAMUS: Really? People still do that? They worry if they have the money?

ALAYA: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: Wow! Wow, wow. Okay. Yeah. So, give me an example of something you did recently, when you’re trying to decide if you should buy a really nice new car or not.

ALAYA: Actually, to purchase a home.

ADAMUS: Purchase a home, okay.

ALAYA: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

ALAYA: To purchase a home.

ADAMUS: Great.

ALAYA: Whether I should …

ADAMUS: Did you?

ALAYA: I have not yet.

ADAMUS: Why?

ALAYA: I’m feeling I need to be kind of in limbo right now, kind of more fluid, not too solid (Adamus chuckles). I want to be … (laughter)

ADAMUS: Makyo! Ahem!

ALAYA: … available.

ADAMUS: What?!! What?!

ALAYA: Just available, you know. More…

ADAMUS: All right. All right.

ALAYA: Not too solid.

ADAMUS: I’m going to call it “This is your bullshit life” (she chuckles). How long have you wanted a house? How long were you homeless?

ALAYA: I’m not homeless.

ADAMUS: How long were your homeless?

ALAYA: Probably about six months.

ADAMUS: Okay.

ALAYA: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: How long have you wanted a house?

ALAYA: Of my own?

ADAMUS: Yes.

ALAYA: Ever since I had a little house in the backyard when I was a little girl (she chuckles).

ADAMUS: Okay, to my point.

ALAYA: I love home.

ADAMUS: And now you’re telling me now you want to stay fluid.

ALAYA: Well …

ADAMUS: And just be ready for anything.

ALAYA: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: You have house energy written all over you (she chuckles). No, you do. You know, some people are nomads. You’re a house person. It’s your anchoring. It’s your place. It’s your sanctuary. And you’ve kept yourself all your life from having a safe house.

ALAYA: Mm.

ADAMUS: All of your damn life.

ALAYA: You’re going to make me cry (she chuckles).

ADAMUS: When you were growing up, when you were homeless, and now you obviously have a place to live, but it’s not yours. A safe house that’s your place, that you can have – and you can go out traveling, you can do whatever you want to do – but a safe house. I look into your heart, it’s so there, and now you tell me this test crap that, “I want to stay fluid”? No, uh-uh. No, no, no, no.

ALAYA: Available? (she chuckles)

ADAMUS: Available. The best place to be available is at your own home. It’s just … I’m not going to tell you to do it or not, but …

ALAYA: It’s scary. It’s scary.

ADAMUS: Why?!

ALAYA: I, I – eughh – I … it’s not going to be bathroom time for me (they laugh).

ADAMUS: No, no, no, no! One at a time. How many stalls are in there anyway? (laughter)

ALAYA: She’s already used the men’s room!

ADAMUS: No, it’s house time.

ALAYA: Oh, it’s house time.

ADAMUS: It’s house time. Stop testing yourself.

ALAYA: Okay.

ADAMUS: Get the house. You’ll have a place where you’re so safe within yourself. Eh, I’m going to talk about houses in a moment here.

ALAYA: Home. Home is so good.

ADAMUS: Home. Yeah, home is good.

ALAYA: I love home. Yeah.

ADAMUS: So, what does that have to do with freedom?

ALAYA: It just means I don’t have to go through the …

ADAMUS: You’re testing yourself. It’s the same …

ALAYA: You asked me! (she laughs)

ADAMUS: You can extrapolate that same thing. Listen here, carefully. You can … oh, you’re done? (to Shaumbra 1 returning from the bathroom)

SHAUMBRA 1: Oh, yes.

ADAMUS: I didn’t hear the toilet flush (some chuckles), but that’s okay.

Listen, you can extrapolate that same thing, “I’m thinking about buying a house, but I want to be fluid right now. I want to be open to opportunities or anything.” You’re doing the same damn thing with your enlightenment, “Well, I don’t want to make any commitments to myself, to Spirit, to life, to anything. I just …” You’re chicken (a few chuckles). No, you are. You’re using it as an excuse, and it’s absolute, one hundred percent makyo. It’s bullshit!

ALAYA: Okay.

ADAMUS: So, but we see the house game here and you can, you’re “Okay,” but when you start doing that now with your own Realization – “Well, it might not be quite the time” or “I’ll wait to see if there’s something else I have to do” or “I’ll just stay open and see what the Master says” – that’s bullshit.

ALAYA: Okay.

ADAMUS: Okay.

ALAYA: Okay.

ADAMUS: So get the house.

ALAYA: And be enlightened.

ADAMUS: Get the house and be enlightened. I like that. Yeah.

ALAYA: An enlightened house.

ADAMUS: Yes! Yes!

ALAYA: Okay. Change your chair! (laughter as Alaya looks at Edith, who makes a face, and Adamus blows her a kiss).

Okay, one more and then we have another question. It’s going to be a long-ass day. One more. How have you been testing yourself lately? Oh! I hope the camera is really good for catching the look on their face when they get the microphone. How have you been testing yourself?

SUE: Well, for the past couple of months I’ve been dealing with incredible anger.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. Oh, good.

SUE: And projecting it outward.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

SUE: I don’t think so much inward, because I’ve really taken to the “Stop it!”

ADAMUS: Right, right. So you’ve been kicking dogs and stuff like that?

SUE: No. Screaming at drivers and …

ADAMUS: Can they hear you? (she nods yes) Oh, they can! (laughter) Yeah. Are you using any hand gestures?

SUE: Eh, no.

ADAMUS: No, no. Just screaming at them.

SUE: Yeah, I have a good enough voice.

ADAMUS: What do you scream to them? I’ve never been in a car. I’ve been on a lot of horses, but never in a car. So how would this look like?

SUE: Well, it’s either, “Back off, shithead.”

ADAMUS: Yeah.

SUE: Yeah. Or …

ADAMUS: How can they hear you if the windows are …

SUE: Well, the windows are down.

ADAMUS: Oh, they are (she chuckles). So how would you do it? Let’s say, I’m in the other car and I just cut you off and how would you do it?

SUE: Well, when I see them in my rearview mirror, I’m like, “Back it off, asshole!”

ADAMUS: Do you turn around?

SUE: Yeah (she giggles).

ADAMUS: Oh, you do.

SUE: Well, no. I’m watching in the rearview mirror.

ADAMUS: Oh, right, right. Okay.

SUE: So the energy is directed…

ADAMUS: I just want to hear you like it’s actually occurring. So, I’ve just cut you off or something and I pull up behind you maybe, too close, and then what?

SUE: Back it off, asshole!

ADAMUS: Ooh, gah! Okay, good. Good (some laughter). So, anger issues.

SUE: Right.

ADAMUS: How is that a test of yourself? I think it would be a test of other people.

SUE: Well, I had this realization the other day. It’s to keep me from being with me. You know, I’m still projecting out when it was here.

ADAMUS: Mm hmm.

SUE: Not the anger needs to be here, but I need to be in clarity.

ADAMUS: How long, in this lifetime, have you been suppressing anger?

SUE: Oh, my god! Since birth.

ADAMUS: Yeah. I mean, a lot. A lot of suppression.

SUE: Right.

ADAMUS: And it affects the body, as you know.

SUE: Right.

ADAMUS: Not so good.

SUE: Right.

ADAMUS: So I wouldn’t consider that a test, you know, just yelling out. I mean, you’re not exactly getting out of your car with a baseball bat, are you?

SUE: (chuckling) No.

ADAMUS: Okay. So a little yell out. And you know what? So many of you are starting to really learn how to go partly invisible. In other words, you can, you know, cuss, you know, “Back off …”

SUE: Asshole.

ADAMUS: “…asshole,” you say it loud, they’re oblivious to it. They don’t see you. They don’t hear you. You feel good about getting it out, but that’s – we’re beating around the bush here – nah, that’s really not how you’re testing yourself. How are you really testing yourself there?

SUE: Well, the other “aha” that came was about self-love, and I had this moment and felt this incredibly deep love for me.

ADAMUS: Yes.

SUE: And I put my hands on my face.

ADAMUS: Good.

SUE: And … yeah.

ADAMUS: You test yourself by taking something like that and pushing it up into the mental and seeing if you can then mentalize it, make it a mental concept. You kind of have an interesting way of filing things in your mind, and you take even some of the greatest “aha’s” you’ve had and you try to put them into kind of mental file cabinets, rather than just letting it be a free and open feeling. And you’re testing yourself, in a way, by saying, “Am I smart enough to do all this?” Kind of like a little bit of an underlying issue in your life, “Am I smart enough?”

SUE: Well, and I would also say opening myself up to the feelings, to allow the feelings.

ADAMUS: Exactly. Well, that’s what happens when you go mental. When you take a beautiful feeling – a natural, raw visceral feeling, it’s really, truly like a realization – and you feel it and then the human has to go in and quickly try to put it in that mental file cabinet. And that’s a way of testing yourself, but it’s also a little bit of a fear of just true open feelings, particularly if you think you’d get angry, you’re almost going to try to suppress those. But try not filing that right away.

SUE: Right.

ADAMUS: You get that feeling that you had of self-love, and instead of analyzing it or trying to say, “Okay, this belongs in this file cabinet under ‘self-love’ and now I can analyze that, and …” Stop doing that. It’s just going to slow you down.

SUE: Okay.

ADAMUS: Cool (she chuckles). Okay.

SUE: Thank you.

ADAMUS: Good. Thank you.

Let’s take a good deep breath with that.

You all have been testing yourselves in a lot of different ways, as we come into Realization. It’s very natural, so don’t feel bad about it. Don’t give yourself a hard time. You do, and it’s really asking yourself the question, “Am I really ready? Am I really, really, really, really, really, really ready?” And then you give yourself another little test.

So, start looking at some of the habits and patterns of the things you do in your life, and, like we were talking, you’ve got this house thing going on. Just do it. You know, stop testing yourself, and testing yourself in really odd ways. Just let’s get past the testing, okay? You’ll start to become very aware of the tests.

But there’s something else that actually now is really important, and I’m going to bring this up here in the last Shoud of the Wings Series, because, you see, your wings are starting to open up. You’re going to start emerging out of that cocoon-state of awakening. Your wings are starting to open up, but there’s something really sticky on your wings, really sticky and we need to address it here.

 

~ Question 2

So, I’ll begin by asking the question – Linda, on the microphone, the dirty microphone (a few chuckles). I’ll begin by asking the question, “Are you a victim?”

Linda, microphone, please. Are you a victim?

DAVID: I would say absolutely, yes.

ADAMUS: Oh. Okay. Explain.

DAVID: I just got the microphone at this time! (lots of laughter and some applause)

ADAMUS: That’s a good example of wisdom and humor together. That was very good. Are you a victim?

DAVID: And consciously, no.

ADAMUS: Mm hmm.

DAVID: But after having fifteen hundred lifetimes, you know, on the merry-go-round, one could begin to suspect there may be something there.

ADAMUS: Okay (a few chuckles). What do you think you’re a victim of? Ahem.

DAVID: Well, a big one for me has been doubt, but that’s self-created.

ADAMUS: Right.

DAVID: Me putting the brakes on my life. Actually, that’s not really a victim. That’s just me putting the brakes on my life.

ADAMUS: Mm hmm. But you feel you are a victim?

DAVID: Actually, I don’t.

ADAMUS: Okay. Good. You’ve taken SES. You’re an SES teacher, so you truly understand the whole victim energy thing. But you say that you’re not.

DAVID: I say that. I just said it.

ADAMUS: Okay (David laughs heartily). Okay, good. No, that’s …

DAVID: I don’t know why I did that! (Adamus chuckles)

ADAMUS: Good. Thank you. Next. Are you a victim?

SHAUMBRA 2 (woman): Oh, my.

ADAMUS: That was a victim look when you got the microphone. Would somebody please smile when they get the damn microphone? “Thank you, Linda. I’ve been waiting for this.” Yes. Are you a victim?

SHAUMBRA 2: This is not true (she chuckles). Sorry. I’m thinking before I was a victim, because this is about mass consciousness and now in my life …

ADAMUS: Didn’t you not want to get the microphone today?

SHAUMBRA 2: No.

ADAMUS: You did not want to get it, yeah.

SHAUMBRA 2: Yes.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

SHAUMBRA 2: A little bit scared.

ADAMUS: You were telling Cauldre earlier that you were worried about your English?

SHAUMBRA 2: Yes.

ADAMUS: Yeah, your English is fine. Yeah. Oof! Yeah. So that was a quick distraction, so we can get back to the point. So, are you a victim?

SHAUMBRA 2: Now I’m thinking no.

ADAMUS: No.

SHAUMBRA 2: Before, yes.

ADAMUS: Before, what was the biggest thing you were a victim of?

SHAUMBRA 2: Mass consciousness.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. That’s a big one.

SHAUMBRA 2: Fear.

ADAMUS: But you come from a beautiful country with very beautiful people that has been attacked and decimated and raped and all the bad things.

SHAUMBRA 2: I am from Poland and …

ADAMUS: It’s the heart of conflict.

SHAUMBRA 2: Yes. I changed country 16 years ago. That’s why now I’m feeling very good. With my job is problem (she chuckles).

ADAMUS: What kind of job do you have?

SHAUMBRA 2: Oh, I don’t want to say. Sorry, because people …

LINDA: Oh, hold it …

ADAMUS: She’s a spy. She’s a spy (laughter). They never want to say. Good. So, the question is, are you a victim? You come from a country that there is a huge overlay of victim consciousness. We did a gathering there. I would like to go back, because there is still some work we need to do with Shaumbra in Poland …

SHAUMBRA 2: Yes, of course.

ADAMUS: … to really let this go.

SHAUMBRA 2: Especially with the religion now.

ADAMUS: So, are you a victim, yes or no?

SHAUMBRA 2: No.

ADAMUS: No. Okay, good.

SHAUMBRA 2: Not now.

ADAMUS: Oh, good. Good. Glad to see we’re moving past this. A couple more.

SHAUMBRA 2: Thank you.

ADAMUS: Sampling the group here. Are you a victim?

LARA: No.

ADAMUS: Were you recently? You know, five years ago, ten years ago?

LARA: Yes.

ADAMUS: Yes.

LARA: Yes.

ADAMUS: Wow! To what?

LARA: I guess my own uncertainty …

ADAMUS: Living with Mofo (her husband) doesn’t make you a victim automatically.

LARA: Well, there’s that! (laughter)

ADAMUS: Automatically (they chuckle). Questionable, but it doesn’t make you a victim. So, what were you a victim to?

LARA: My own uncertainty and unclarity and restlessness.

ADAMUS: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Your past, your childhood or anything like that?

LARA: No.

ADAMUS: No, no, no.

LARA: No.

ADAMUS: No.

LARA: Just adult experiences, I guess.

ADAMUS: Okay. But you’re past that?

LARA: No.

ADAMUS: Okay. So there is some victim …

LARA: No, I just don’t feel like a victim anymore.

ADAMUS: You don’t feel like a victim?

LARA: Uh-uh.

ADAMUS: Okay. Well, but I’m hearing some contradiction here.

LARA: Mm hmm. I have …

ADAMUS: You’re not a victim, but there’s still some. What’s going on?

LARA: (chuckles) I was still feeling a lot of uncertainty and restlessness.

ADAMUS: Uncertainty is not the right word.

LARA: Hm.

ADAMUS: Do you know what it is?

LARA: What?

ADAMUS: That’s my segue.

LARA: Please.

ADAMUS: No. I need you to say it.

LARA: Oh, do I know.

ADAMUS: Why do you call it uncertainty? Is that what you said it was?

LARA: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: Why do you call it that? Why do you call it that? You know what it is.

LARA: Indecision?

ADAMUS: Yeah, it’s not that.

LARA: It’s not that.

ADAMUS: You’re dancing around the subject.

LARA: Mm hmm.

ADAMUS: What is it?

LARA: Fear.

ADAMUS: Close.

(she pauses)

What’s the word? It’s right there. Half of you get it already.

(she pauses again)

Nice shoes (to Jason sitting in the front).

JASON: Thank you (he chuckles).

ADAMUS: Yeah, I like those (a few chuckles). Maybe we can equip Cauldre with something that’s not all cut up like these (laughter; referring to Cauldre’s sandals). Oh, I’m sorry. Where were we?

LARA: We were at fear, but not quite.

ADAMUS: If you can say the word, you’re going to, like, really clear up a lot of stuff within yourself.

LARA: Okay.

ADAMUS: All right. We’re talking about uncertainty, doubt. You used some other makyo words here. You don’t feel like a victim anymore.

LARA: No.

ADAMUS: You actually aren’t haunted by outside things. But what’s going on here? What’s the biggest emotional feeling you’ve had in the last ten years?

LARA: Umm.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

LARA: Feeling stuck?

ADAMUS: No.

LARA: Feeling, uh … I don’t know, sad.

ADAMUS: I heard that, by the way.

LARA: I know.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

LARA: But I’m not going to the toilet.

ADAMUS: Okay. All right (some chuckles). Okay, good. We kind of glossed over it, and this is a little too intense right now. So, yeah, it’d be disappointing, because then I’d have to go in there with you so we can continue (laughter).

LARA: And the cameraman. It could get awkward.

(slight pause)

ADAMUS: If I say it, it’ll have about half the impact on you personally in releasing some stuff. If you say it, it can be gone (she sighs). Isn’t it funny how the mind kind of blocks stuff? You know exactly what I’m talking about, but you can’t come up with the word, and it’s one of these self- …

LARA: I can feel it.

ADAMUS: You can feel it. It’s one of these self-tests.

LARA: Yeah.

ADAMUS: And I would say, eh, maybe 30, 40 percent of you kind of really get it, but – ohh! – what do we do?

(she pauses)

Do you want me to tell you?

LARA: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Okay. Give the microphone back to Linda and we’re done with the questions for the moment and I’ll get to my point. But really, really feel into what I’m saying here, because this could be – pfff! – you could really let a lot go. Okay. Lights down, please.

There’s one issue we have to really address, and it’s a sticky tough issue, and it’s one that you want to let go, but you’re not going to right away. It’s going to take a little bit, because it’s so sticky, it’s so ingrained, it’s so ugly, and it makes you a victim. It makes you a victim.

You all have really come a long way, brought in a lot of wisdom and really stopped being a victim to your parents. Doesn’t that seem like ages ago where, you know, the family stuff and blaming them? You’ve stopped being a victim to your exes, your ex-husbands and wives and partners and lovers, because you realized it was just like dragging around a lot of extra garbage with you. So, you stopped being a victim to them.

You’ve stopped being a victim to mass consciousness, kind of, generally. I mean, you realize it’s still there, it can be seductive, but you stop letting it really bother you. But you’ve got this one victim thing, a big victim thing left, and it’s the victim of feeling guilt, of feeling guilt.

 

Guilt

That makes you a victim, “I’m guilty because I did something bad to another person. I’m guilty because I’m not a nice person. I’m guilty because I’m still carrying around things that I did a long time ago – my secrets,” whether they’re dirty secrets, whether they’re just deeply submerged secrets. And guilt will make you a victim more than other people, more than anything on the outside. As we’re opening the wings right now and we’re about to take off, really to emerge, if you’ve got that sticky stuff on your wings, you’re not going to fly very well. You’ll tumble a lot. It’s time to take a look at feelings of guilt that are within.

Now, they’re funny because they’re there, you know they’re there, you actually know what they are, but the mind plays a game. The mind plays a huge game and, first of all, it will deny being a victim, until you finally realize that your own guilt is the biggest sense of victimness that you’ll ever have. Your own guilt – far greater than being a victim to a bad family or a bad relationship or job or whatever.

You hang on to that guilt. You hang on to it out of shame. You hang on to it as the biggest form of self-testing that you have. You won’t let it go because you’re feeling too guilty. You’re feeling that you did something so incredibly terrible, you can’t let it go. How could you let it go? How could you just – snap! – make it go away? There’s something inside you that says, “That wouldn’t be right to just release myself from that. I have to carry that around in order to remind myself not to be a bad human anymore.” So you have this guilt that turns you into your own victim. Usually, one thinks of the victim as being something outside of them. But actually, the biggest victim, the biggest cause of being a victim is yourself, your guilt.

It presents an interesting dilemma here. What do you do with it? How do you handle guilt? I can tell you right now and most of you know you can’t fight guilt. It will win. It knows where your vulnerable spots are. What do you do with it?

You can’t go into embodied Realization with being a victim. You’ve gotten over the outside victim stuff, but what about that inside victim? What about the guilt?

As I’m talking here, feel into the energies of the room, of all of us here together. There are amazing flashbacks. You just feel the energy just zooming all around, as each and every one of you looks into your own guilt. And it’s funny, the mind has a way of hiding it. You know it’s there. You know it’s there, but you can’t say the word. Easiest word, but it’s hard to say.

That’s what guilt does, and, you know, we’re not going to process the guilt. I really actually don’t have any patience for it. We’re just going to get rid of it. But that brings up guilt (Adamus chuckles) about guilt.

 

A Question

So, before we go any further with that, I do want to ask an interesting question. Around, again, with the microphone, Linda. So if guilt was a thing, like a being of some type, and you had a really big house (some chuckles as he looks at Alaya); you had a really big house with a lot of room in it – basement, attic, all the rest of that – a nice big house, where would the guilt live? Linda on the microphone, lights up please. Where would the guilt live? A room in the house.

JANE: In the basement.

ADAMUS: In the basement. Why?

JANE: Because it’s not needed.

ADAMUS: Not needed. Yeah. But it’s still there in the basement, even though the door is closed and it’s way down below.

JANE: Yes.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Do you have much feelings of guilt?

JANE: Yes.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Are they in the basement right now?

JANE: No.

ADAMUS: Where are they?

JANE: They’re right here.

ADAMUS: Yeah. How about in the living room?

JANE: In the bedroom.

ADAMUS: In the bedroom, okay (a few chuckles). Living room and bedroom.

JANE: They’re close.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah.

JANE: Very close.

ADAMUS: Yeah. I say living room because you actually bring them into your life. That’s actually better than storing them in the basement, you know, because then in the basement they’re there, but you forget they’re there, but yet you can feel that energy seeping up.

JANE: Yes.

ADAMUS: So they’re in the living room, bedroom. That’s no way to live.

JANE: No.

ADAMUS: No! And, you know, I’ve got to ask, what do you really have to feel guilty about?

(she pauses)

I’m not expecting an answer, by the way (some laughter). There was that tense moment, “Thank God!” (Adamus chuckles) No. I ask it rhetorically. What do you really have to feel guilty about? Who is creating that guilt?

JANE: I am.

ADAMUS: Yeah, the human.

JANE: Yes.

ADAMUS: The Master doesn’t give a shit.

JANE: No.

ADAMUS: Neither does God or the I Am or any of that. The human likes to think they all really care. They don’t care! They don’t care. So you’ve judged something in your life and that turned into guilt and now you carry that guilt around.

JANE: Yes.

ADAMUS: Do you think about the guilt stuff, I mean, does it come up like once or twice a month?

JANE: Lately, it’s been coming up more often.

ADAMUS: More often, I wonder why? Shoud (they chuckle). Oh, we had to start bringing – for any of you here or watching in online – we had to start bringing up guilt stuff. That’s actually why I had to walk away for 30 days. It was really to get the guilt to really come up, and it was probably uncomfortable for you, but you can’t fly if you’re in a cage of guilt. It just doesn’t work. So, I mean, the worst thing you’ve ever done is not that bad.

You like to think it is, and this is where I call your game – not just you; your game (to the audience), your game (to the camera). This is where I call your game. It is a huge game that you’re playing, this guilt thing.

Okay. I’ll get into that in a moment. We’ll get back to this. So, thank you. Thank you for your answer.

Where does your guilt live in this big house? Where does it live?

LINDA: Second chance.

SHAUMBRA 1: She’s determined! (Adamus chuckles). Well, you know, after listening to …

ADAMUS: Oh, you went from “I don’t know” to “You know.”

SHAUMBRA 1: Yes.

ADAMUS: Okay, good.

SHAUMBRA 1: Yeah.

ADAMUS: That was good.

SHAUMBRA 1: Now I have something to say.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Would you mind standing?

SHAUMBRA 1: After listening to the different Shouds, you always say, “Let it go. Release it.”

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah.

SHAUMBRA 1: “It don’t belong to you anymore.”

ADAMUS: Sure, sure. Where does yours live?

SHAUMBRA 1: Nowhere. I don’t have any guilt anymore, because I did the best I can at the time I was doing whatever …

ADAMUS: I bet you you do. I bet you you do. And I’m glad you think you don’t, but…

SHAUMBRA 1: I try not (she chuckles).

ADAMUS: … I bet you you do.

SHAUMBRA 1: Do I?

ADAMUS: Yeah, actually, you do. Everybody does. Every human on the planet has levels of guilt. Yeah.

SHAUMBRA 1: I do realize that we are the human.

ADAMUS: Right.

SHAUMBRA 1: What I wanted to say is, you know, we reciprocate back and forth to the Old Energy and the New Energy because we are at this point in time. We’re the link.

ADAMUS: This is not making sense to me.

SHAUMBRA 1: No? It doesn’t make sense?

ADAMUS: No, no, no, no.

SHAUMBRA 1: No, it’s …

ADAMUS: No, I’m hearing words, but I’m …

SHAUMBRA 1: You know, it makes sense to me that, okay …

ADAMUS: Do you have any guilt within you?

SHAUMBRA 1: Well, you know, if anything I guess you could say impatience.

ADAMUS: Impatience, okay.

SHAUMBRA 1: Yeah (she sighs).

ADAMUS: Did you ever treat anybody bad?

SHAUMBRA 1: Well, sometimes I yell at my husband.

ADAMUS: Would you hold the microphone a little closer so we can all hear your confessions?

SHAUMBRA 1: (chuckling) I yell at my husband. I feel guilty.

ADAMUS: You yell at your husband.

SHAUMBRA 1: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Yeah, yeah. Do you love him?

SHAUMBRA 1: Okay, so I feel guilty about that.

ADAMUS: Would you hold that … do you love him?

SHAUMBRA 1: Of course, I do! (Linda gasps)

LINDA: Mmm.

SHAUMBRA 1: And so, I guess I feel …

ADAMUS: Don’t you have a little feeling there’s some guilt in there?

SHAUMBRA 1: Yeah, when I yell at him. Yeah (she chuckles).

ADAMUS: Why do you yell at him?

SHAUMBRA 1: Well, because he …

ADAMUS: He’s an idiot sometimes (some laughter). Not all the time.

SHAUMBRA 1: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Once in a while.

SHAUMBRA 1: I didn’t want to say that (she chuckles).

ADAMUS: Wait, does he live close by? Is he a big guy, because …

SHAUMBRA 1: Well, you know, everybody has issues.

ADAMUS: Right.

SHAUMBRA 1: And, you know, sometimes I don’t agree with him, and so, you know, he’s like stupid to me, so I yell a little bit. I feel guilty about that.

ADAMUS: How do you yell at him? What’s his name?

SHAUMBRA 1: (sighs) Michael.

ADAMUS: Michael. How do you yell at him? Because I’m curious.

SHAUMBRA 1: You know, “Why are you being such an idiot?!”

ADAMUS: Yeah. But a little louder than that once in a while?

SHAUMBRA 1: Oh, yeah.

ADAMUS: And what does Michael do?

SHAUMBRA 1: Just looks at me.

ADAMUS: Just like – okay. Like a typical husband (some chuckles). “I didn’t hear a word.” Okay.

SHAUMBRA 1: Oh, god! (she chuckles)

ADAMUS: So let’s go back to your guilt. It’s not necessarily about Michael, but …

SHAUMBRA 1: Well, it’s because I really didn’t have to be that way. I could have handled it better.

ADAMUS: Right.

SHAUMBRA 1: And after the fact I feel bad about it.

ADAMUS: Yeah. And we’re not going to do any psychoanalyzing today, but …

SHAUMBRA 1: No, it’s just like let him know …

ADAMUS: … the issue of guilt that’s there that we’re going to blow up goes a lot deeper than that.

SHAUMBRA 1: Pardon me?

ADAMUS: (chuckles) The issue of guilt goes a lot deeper than Michael and yelling at him. There are some other issues there. And we’re not going to psychoanalyze. We’re going to blow up. That’s the New Energy psychoanalysis – peow! – just blow it up.

SHAUMBRA 1: Yeah, well, that’s why you have to just move forward.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Yeah.

SHAUMBRA 1: Yeah.

ADAMUS: Good.

SHAUMBRA 1: That’s what I do. I try to do, okay, that’s what I did. I feel guilty about it.

ADAMUS: What room? What room is it in?

SHAUMBRA 1: Oh, I don’t know, living room.

ADAMUS: Living room, okay (she chuckles). Yeah. Bedroom?

SHAUMBRA 1: No.

ADAMUS: There’s no guilt in the bedroom?

SHAUMBRA 1: Umm, no! We’re too old (she laughs).

LINDA: (laughing) Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

ADAMUS: That’s kind of like, “I don’t know.” You’re too old? Too old.

SHAUMBRA 1: No!

ADAMUS: Just for the record here, a human should get better at sex the older they get.

SHAUMBRA 1: Uhh, we don’t even sleep together.

ADAMUS: You don’t sleep …

LINDA: I know that’s right!

ADAMUS: Yeah, okay (she’s giggling). But… there’s no … okay.

SHAUMBRA 1: Oh, this is getting really personal! (she chuckles)

ADAMUS: Linda, stay out of this! (laughter)

ADAMUS: No, it’s not getting personal. This is life. This is living. Truly, as one gets more comfortable with their body, their age, their …

SHAUMBRA 1: Well, it’s not that.

ADAMUS: … their energy, actually, the bedroom should be much better after you’re 50, 60, 80. Can you imagine 100? Boom! (laughter)

SHAUMBRA 1: No, I can’t imagine that! (she chuckles)

ADAMUS: Why? Why? You know, it’s what …

SHAUMBRA 1: I should live so long.

ADAMUS: Longevity. You want longevity? Have sex.

SHAUMBRA 1: Well, yeah, we’re supposed to …

ADAMUS: No, have sex with yourself or somebody else. It’s one of the keys to longevity. You stop doing it, you stop living (she shrugs, Adamus chuckles). Anyway …

SHAUMBRA 1: He has an illness.

ADAMUS: That doesn’t matter.

SHAUMBRA 1: Well, he’s, you know.

ADAMUS: No, we don’t – you can be with yourself, if you know what I mean.

EDITH: Masturbate.

ADAMUS: Ohh, Edith! (lots of laughter) Edith in not so quiet a whisper, “Masturbate!” (more laughter) Look what happens! A simple change of chairs and she … (cheers, applause and laughter) This is a woman that didn’t like when I said “fuck” and now she’s talking masturbation (more chuckles). It’s like aren’t they the same thing? (Adamus chuckles) Sorry. Anyway, microphone to Linda. One more. One more.

LINDA: Okay, okay.

ADAMUS: Guilt.

LINDA: One more, one more.

ADAMUS: What room does it live in in your house?

LINDA: Okay. Yeah, here. Oh, man, I could feel that.

ADAMUS: Yes.

PAUL: Hello, St. Germain.

ADAMUS: Hello. Mostly Adamus.

PAUL: Adamus.

ADAMUS: Yeah, do you have guilt?

PAUL: Sure.

ADAMUS: Yeah. About?

PAUL: Opportunities that I just missed, because I chose to.

ADAMUS: Yeah. Why would you feel guilty about a missed opportunity?

PAUL: Well, you start looking back – and this is silly stuff, that you start looking back at a certain age – that, “How else could I have taken my life?” And actually, the way I went is just fine.

ADAMUS: The Master looks back and instead of having remorse about what was not done, the Master looks back and realizes that actually it was the And. All sorts of things were done. You don’t look back and say, “Oh, I should have done this and should have done that.” You said, “I did this and I also did this.” Even though you may think you’re just making it up, you didn’t, because you’re always in the And. The past is not singular nor linear, so let yourself go into the past and experience the potentials that you didn’t necessarily bring into this level. But what room is the guilt in?

PAUL: The guilt is in the kitchen.

ADAMUS: Why? Why the kitchen?

PAUL: Because growing up in our family, that’s where the family lived, was in the kitchen.

ADAMUS: Yeah.

PAUL: So that’s where everybody’s stuff would usually come out there at the dinner table, which caused a lot of indigestion (laughter).

ADAMUS: And did you let your stuff come up at the dinner table?

PAUL: No.

ADAMUS: No.

PAUL: No.

ADAMUS: Guilt, right?  

PAUL: Yes.

ADAMUS: Yeah. And, in a way, it was kind of smart to not bring the stuff up at the dinner table. You’d have probably been sold off or something (Adamus chuckles).

PAUL: There was plenty of it, so nobody missed mine.

ADAMUS: Right. But also, there’s a lot of internal guilt, and we don’t have to go into what it is, because that’s not why we’re here. But it’s time to let all that go.

PAUL: Right.

ADAMUS: So, okay. Thank you.

PAUL: Right. Thank you.

ADAMUS: Thank you.

 

Stopping the Game

I’d like all of you to feel into this. Where does your guilt live? If this is a big house, for some of you it’s going to be more in the basement, kind of tucked away down there. You haven’t gotten rid of it. You know, half the stuff – no, eighty percent of the stuff in your basement – throw out. You’re never going to use it again, but you keep guilt down there just as a reminder, just because you’re not willing to let go of it.

For a lot of you, it’s in the attic, upstairs; kind of what you’d call the superconscious versus the subconscious. You have it up there in the superconscious and that’s, I would say, it’s the most problematic when it’s there, because you don’t, you know, you don’t think of your attic much, you know, up above. But it’s there blocking. You know, the superconscious, the opening up, it’s kind of blocking things. You put it up there and you kind of forget about it, but it’s inhibiting where you’re going to go to.

For a lot of you, your guilt is in the bedroom. Sexual guilt is the strongest guilt of all. The sexual guilt is actually stronger than a guilt that one would have with hurting another person, even murdering another person. Sexual guilt is the strongest of all. And whether it’s a guilt about whether you think you’re just a big old pervert, whether you have manipulated others, it could even be in a past lifetime. Sexual witchcraft is the most effective of all. You bring a little sex into witchcraft and it’s powerful stuff, and some of you have played with that in past lives. But when it’s in the bedroom it’s really sticky, really nasty stuff.

For a lot of you, it’s in the living room. It’s there. You parked guilt in the living room and you’re not really letting yourself live. You’re constantly dancing around the guilt that’s in your living room, the place to live.

For some of you, like Paul, in the kitchen. How you bring energy in, how you nurture and nourish yourself. And then it shows up in your body, if your guilt is in your kitchen.

Some of you have it in closets. Not so much in the bathroom. Not a lot of guilt in the bathroom, oddly enough. Yeah. I guess you have other ways of getting rid of stuff.

But take a look. Where’s that guilt? Where is it residing?

And now, the next part is, we’re not going to try to understand, we’re not going to try to psychoanalyze guilt. It is time for you to recognize it’s a big frickin’ game that you’re playing. That’s it. You’re playing your own victim game. Victim to victim, human to victim. It cannot go on. Period. You can’t go in and try to remedy guilt, because it just makes guilt bigger. You’re actually energizing it. But once you recognize it’s a big game, it’s a big way of testing yourself and a big way of holding yourself back and you just get rid of guilt, you will be free to emerge, to fly, to soar.

But you’re going to try to hold on to it. You’re going to try to do a lot of makyo. You heard it all here today. There was makyo. There was distraction. There was not answering the questions. There was a lot of stuff, and you’re going to try doing that. You’re going to try figuring it out in your mind, “What am I guilty about?” And I guarantee, every one of you has issues of guilt. Self-victimness. It’s just time to stop playing the game. That’s the question that needs to be answered, “Am I ready to stop playing the game of being my own victim? Am I ready to stop the self-testing?”

Guilt is a weird thing. Guilt is pretty much uniquely human, at least it started here. You go into other realms, other beings, and they don’t have the issues of guilt. Humans have really perfected guilt.

Guilt starts out first as a judgment, the human mind judging “Is that right or wrong?” Then it turns it into guilt, which is not mental anymore. It’s emotional and it gets into your veins, literally into your veins, but into the veins of your life, into the veins of the energy flow and everything else. And from that guilt, it’ll drain you. It’ll drain you.

And guilt also brings rise to drama. A lot of you, if you look at your life, always having to have some drama occurring. There’s a direct relationship between guilt and drama, because once you start feeling guilty, it cuts off a very natural life flow kind of an energy. Then you’ve got to have drama to bring that energy up again, and then you get guilty about the drama and it’s a self-perpetuating issue.

The point in all this is we’ve talked in the past, particularly in the Sexual Energy School, about being a victim or being an abuser on the outside world. But now it’s taking a look at how you’re playing the victim game with yourself, with guilt.

It’s time to acknowledge, if you’re ready, that it’s time to stop playing the game. No more guilt. No more guilt, and part of you is going to insist on holding on to it, “I was a bad person. I need to feel guilty.” No more. That’s it. Done. Wipe the slate clean, and that’s where the issues will come up, “Can I really just wipe the slate clean?” And then the guilt is going to speak out and say, “No, no. You can’t. You can’t get over it that easy. It’s going to take a long time. We have to work at it. We have to deal with it and process it, inner child it and all the rest of that.” It’s like, no. Stop playing the game.

Let’s just turn that into a merabh so we don’t get any more mental about it. Let’s take a good deep breath.

 

Blowing Up Guilt – Merabh

The human experience has a lot of feelings of guilt.

(music begins)

And it builds and builds and builds, and it really turns one into a big victim.

We come to this point, coming into true embodied Realization, we come into this point and it’s a decision on your part. A conscious decision with the Master sitting, waiting, the I Am. A conscious decision on your part. Are you going to stop playing the game of being a victim to yourself?

You know what it’s like to be a victim to external things – bad families, bad relationships, business losses, all the rest of that. We’ve gotten beyond that. Now we have to take a turn to you being a victim, playing a victim to your own guilt. Look how guilt has caused you to live your life, make decisions; how it’s caused you not to enjoy a lot of things in life.

I would say the worst thing to do with guilt is to try to process it, to address it in any way, to delve into it, to have it counseled. That’s exactly what guilt wants.

But to say, “I am done playing the victim game on myself. Game over. No more guilt.” Blow it up. That’s what we’re here to do. This doesn’t apply to all humans. No, not at all. It’s about you, you, where we are right now.

In a very strange way of speaking, humans, most humans, still need guilt. They need it for their survival, for their identity. They need that element of guilt, it’s still an essential in their life.

Not for you. You don’t need it anymore. You don’t need it to regulate yourself, keep yourself from being a bad person.

There are a lot of addiction guilts that Shaumbra has. There are a lot of relationship guilts.

(pause)

And we’re here, I’m here to call you on your game.

There are some weird spiritual guilts, you know, mostly past life stuff, going back even to the time of Yeshua and the work that you came to do; spent many lifetimes trying to maintain the sacredness of some of that wisdom from the times of Yeshua, feeling guilty that you didn’t do it right. But what the guilt is isn’t important. Trying to go figure it out isn’t important.

What’s important is before we come to emergence, before we really open up, I’ve got to ask you – I’ve been away for a month – I’ve got to ask you now me to you, one on one, are you ready to give up that game?

It’s either a yes or a no. That’s it. Yes or no, nothing else. Don’t say anything in between.

Are you ready to give up guilt, being a victim to yourself? It is a huge game, and it will hold you back.

(pause)

You may say that the guilt has kept you from repeating mistakes. You may say the guilt is even a little bit of your own self-imposed punishment. You may say that guilt is nothing that you really can control; it’s just there, it’s a demon. You may say that it comes from somebody or somewhere else. No. It’s all a game.

(pause)

And the very simple question I ask is are you ready to stop being a victim? That’s it. You can let it go just like that – peooww!

(pause)

The word “victim” is generally used referring to your experiences, relationships, with the external; being a victim to somebody or something else on the outside. I’ve never heard it referred to as being a victim to yourself – your own guilt, shame. Shame of being a human. Falling from grace, coming to this planet, taking on a physical body.

(pause)

I bet you never really thought of yourself being a victim to yourself. But, you know, there’s also something in it that you really liked. There’s something you’ve really liked about being guilty.

I’m here calling you on it right now.

(pause)

Guilt is one of those interesting, kind of emotional, human characteristics. It’s so sticky and so, oh, kind of dirty, shameful, so insidious, until you stop for a moment and realize the game. It likes you to think that it’s really sticky and dirty and nasty and insidious and creepy crawling all around, all around your house, the metaphorical house, just like cockroaches, termites. It likes you to think that. It likes you to think that it’s hard to get rid of, that you’re not worthy.

You actually kind of like the feeling. Yeah. Yeah, you do. You like the feeling of being in guilt, otherwise it wouldn’t be there.

I’ll tell you something else about guilt. Depending how you look at it, it’s also like Teflon, you know, no-stick surface. If you don’t engage in it, you don’t try to process it and figure it out, if you don’t go into its emotional seduction, it’s like Teflon, so easy. Just – schwitt! – it’s gone.

So, on one hand you could perceive it to be so sticky, nasty, hidden in the recesses of your house. You can’t get rid of it. You fall victim to it, if that’s a game you want to play.

Or, you just take a deep breath, stop playing the game, and it’s gone. It’s gone that fast.

They’re like two sides of the same coin. Nasty old guilt, being a victim, or truly it’s just letting it go. Schwtt! Gone.

So, I’m putting it to you once again. It’s a simple yes or no. Are you done playing the game of being victim to yourself?

Take a good deep breath.

Guilt, shame, they go so deep sometimes. But when we’re in a safe space like this, it’s also really one of the easiest to walk away from.

The human sometimes has a difficult time with that. Well, they struggle and say, “I can’t just let it go like that” or “Doesn’t the universe keep score?” No, it doesn’t. The universe does not keep score. Only you do.

Well, feel it for a moment. Feel the Master. The Master is the wisdom of all your lifetimes.

Feel into it for a moment. The Master doesn’t keep score. The Master turns everything into wisdom. Master doesn’t judge.

The I Am, consciousness itself, it doesn’t have a book of right and wrong. The I Am does not even know what karma is nor would it care. Those are all human perceptions.

So, yes, you can walk away from it, this guilt, anytime you want. Anytime you want the game to stop.

(pause)

I want you to watch yourself over the next month until our next Shoud.

How often are you going to think about and struggle with this issue of guilt, shame? Are you going to turn this into a mental exercise of how big a victim you are? Are you going to go write stories, put them on social media about guilt and victimness? Because if you do all these things, you’re still in that sticky energy. You’re still in your own game. And it’s your own. It’s nobody else’s. You’re still in drama.

Or you can just walk away. Stop playing the game.

There are no consequences to ending the game, in terms of penalties or anything else. If you end the game now, it doesn’t make you a better or a worse person or spirit. It doesn’t put you back on the road to Realization and it doesn’t advance you.

You either stop playing the game or not. That’s it. That’s it. Good deep breath.

Next month we come into the Emergence Series. We start not just realizing that we have wings, we start using them. That’s why at this last Shoud of the Wings Series I asked that question, “Are you ready to stop playing the game of guilt victim?” That’s it.

(pause)

Let’s take a good deep breath.

(pause)

Just feel into what it would be like – what it will be like – to have let all that guilt just go. Not to have it anymore.

(pause)

Your decisions are going to be different. Your energy flow will be different. Your ability to spread your wings will certainly change.

(pause)

And yes, you initially are going to feel like some emptiness in you, some holes in you. And if you say, “No more of being a guilt victim,” there’ll be some emptiness, because it’s been filled for a long time, a long time, with some of your guilt.

But those holes, that emptiness are quickly going to be filled by consciousness, by real feelings, not these false feelings; by real feelings.

The guilt has taken up so much space in your sensory mechanism that it’s prevented you from actually feeling all these other senses that we’ve talked about; from really feeling, from really experiencing.

(pause)

And you can look at guilt any way you want. You can try to look at where it might have come from or why it’s there, how it got there. None of it matters.

It’s either time to stop playing your game or not. And it is a huge game. Perhaps the biggest game the human ever plays. Yeah, guilt, being a victim to yourself.

(pause)

I’m kind of just passing time here, while I’m feeling into all of your energies. And we’ve gone from confusion to being very uncomfortable, even some anger – in this merabh – just gone from confusion, some anger and some sadness.

And now what I’m sensing is so many of you are taking a deep breath and just saying, “The game just ended.”

And even if the mind cannot quite know where to file this game, how to think about it, you have the intuitive, the innate feeling enough so you can say, “The game ends. I am not going to keep playing it.”

It’s not a game on the outside. It’s a game on the inside. Guilt.

Let’s take a good deep breath.

(pause)

Good deep breath.

(music ends)

So, I would say about 38 percent of you have clearly answered the question, “Are you going to stop playing the game?”

There’s no race. There’s no time limit for the rest of you, but some of you are thinking about it. Then you hear yourself saying, “Yes” and the next minute saying, “No,” and then you’re getting right back into a game. But I’ll give you 24 hours to make that decision, yes or no. And, again, we don’t want to over-process this, but guilt is a huge self-imposed game. That’s it. Self-imposed game. It’ll tie up your energy and tie up your Realization. You can let it go just by saying, “I’m done with the game.” And then don’t worry about it. Don’t process it. It will go on its own. It’s going to be like Teflon. But if you dive into it and start trying to analyze it and everything else, it’s really, really, really sticky.

So, let’s take a deep breath. You’ve got 24 hours to consider and then onward into Emergence.

And, with that, no matter what you decide, remember …

ADAMUS AND AUDIENCE: … all is well in all of creation.

ADAMUS: Thank you. Thank you (audience applause).